Thursday, July 13, 2006

im sorry...

"im sorry mike! i cant do this anymore." i sadly told him over the phone.
for the past year of college he has been acting wierd and erratic.. ok ok at first it was cute and all but with the demands of school i cant keep up with him anymore. He became much more demanding and scaringly posseive of me.
"so ganun nalang yun? ayaw mo na? bakit dahil sagabal na ko sa yo? what? tell me!" he said. he was trying so hard not to sound mad but i can see his veins on his forehead and i could say that they can pop any minute.
"mike, its not that, the reason why we have each other is because we love each other and we understand each other, but at the rater we're goin' i dont think we're getting anywhere." i explained.
"sinasabi mo lang yan, alam ko naman eh, kaya ayaw mo na dahil hindi mo na magawa yung mga gusto mong gawin sampu ng mga barkada mo."
this ticked me reallly bad!
"you know what??? tama ka! hindi ko na nga talaga magawa lahat ng mga gusto kong gawin. ikaw sagabal? oo! isang malaking sagabal ka sa buhay ko! lahat ng ginagawa ko kelangan pabor muna sa yo bago ko magawa. tao ako mike! hindi ako robot! masyado pa kong bata para matali ng ganto ano ka ba?" i said and then took a deep breath to calm myself. i guess it was too late for that now.
"no! hindi ako papayag, we can still work this one out? di ba trix? wag mo naman akong iwan ng ganto." he asked
"not this time mike, hindi ko na din kaya yung pressure, ayoko na... we have to do this before we start hating each other.
"no trix, please? i'll do anything you want... pera gusto mo ng pera?" he asked taking his wallet out and taking big bills out and handing them to me."eto sa yo na to, wag mo lang akong iwan."
"ano ka ba mike! i dont need that alisin mo nga yan sa harap ko! nakakabastos ka na ah." i said as i pushed his hand away.
"umm ano pang gusto mo? bagong cell, halika bili tayo ngayon na kahit anong gusto mo." he said as he dragged me going nowhere.
"mike! sandali nga... sandali! ano ba? ano na nangyayri sa yo? hindi na din to maayos ng ganto we need time off from each other hindi ko na din to kaya eh, pls, understand? hindi mo na din mababago yung gusto ko eh, ayoko na!"
"hindi mo na ba ko mahal?" he asked. OMG! this was the day that i'v been dreading.. the simple question yet so hard to answer. paano na ba to?
"mike im sorry, hindi ko na din alam." i answered.
"trix you know na i just cant let this one go just like this... gagawin ko lahat to win you back. i know na alam mo yun di ba?"
"i know but not this time mike ayoko na eh.. im so sorry. i need my own time for myself, i hope you understand..."
" i dont!" then he walked off.

i hate to say this but breaking up with him was sad at first but then after awhile it was great, i mean i get to do things that i havent done before, i get to go out with my friends again, hang out with them, play pool and the best part my parents are not around! this must what freedom tastes like. sooo good!
so yeah there i was partying here and there and meeting new people. Being in college could never be better, this went on for weeks, until one day when i got a phone call in my room.
"hello?"
"hi trix.. kamusta?" it was mike.
"ohhh.. hi mike ok naman and you?" i wasnt actually happy hearing from him. for some weird reason i was a bit irritated.
"not so good! i miss you so much, and i think i have given you much time to think... to think about us... please come back!" he begged.
" mike naman, andyan na naman ba tayo sa usapang yan? sa ibang araw nalang pwede i really have to go, may meeting ako with my members."
"meeting? you dont have a class till 230 pm pa ah? bakit ang aga mo aalis? can we just talk?" he asked.
"im sorry we can't male late na ko, im sorry! bye!" i was about to hang up the phone when...
"saglit lang... ayaw mo na ba?...."
"i guess so, i think this is it for us, im happy now kung asan man ako. sorry."
"ok then i guess all i can do is be happy for you then, goodluck! and i love you!.. lagi yan... please say that you love me too???" he begged.
" im sorry mike... i don't. goodbye!

and with that i hung up the phone and hurried downstairs for my meeting...