moving on...

"understand? trix naman, how am i suppose to undertsand this? bakit ka nagdecide ng hindi ako tinatanong?" he said trying to lower his voice so my parents wouldn't hear. yes, i made a decision and i hope it's not a bad one, i chose to move to my lola's house in manila. Is that bad? kala ko kasi maiintindihan ni mike eh. i tried weighing in all the pros and cons of moving to manila. and unfortunately the pros won :
pros:
near my university
lapit sa gimikan
i have my own room
i have my own telephone line
no parents
no hassle
no traffic
freedom!

cons:
away from mike!

I've thought alot about this, i mean hindi naman din kasi biro ang commute from cavite to manila, even if mike's driving the traffic is just infuriating! but of course mike, upon hearing this was not too happy.

"eh mike naman mas gusto kasi nila daddy na dun nalang ako titira, tas uuwi nalang ako ng weekend." i lied, it was always up to me to decide where i wanted to stay, but for him to understand i have to lie that my parents were the ones who wanted me there. i hate lying, but there's no other way for me to explain to him how important this is for me.
"so ganun nalang yun? weekend nalang tayo magkikita?" he asked, finally giving up on the issue.
"no, its not going to be like that, pwede mo naman akong puntahan sa school eh kunyari lunch or something di ba? kaya nga may sasakyan ka na eh." i suggested.
"trust me trix, madaming magbabago... when you get the taste of freedom and living on your own.. magiiba lahat." he said
teka, why is he being negative on this, its not like im moving out of state or something, as if we're really too far from each other. with him thinking like that got me a little bit scared.
"basta promise trix, hindi ka magbabago ah?"
"mike ano ka ba? what are you talkin about me changing? hindi noh... kahit ano mangyri tayo pa din ang magkakampi ok? you taught me that remember? we'll be ok."

So eventually, he agreed for me to move out, i didn't realize how hard it was for him until i started moving my stuff to my lola's house. both of were in my room and i was tryingto pack most of my stuff until he fell silent and started looking at me...
"HUY! mike what's the matter? ok ka lang?"
"wala lang kasi parang ang layo mo na agad eh, hindi ka pa nga nakakalipat nalulungkot na ko agad." he said giving me a puppy dog look.
"My god naman mike, para nmang ang layo layo ko na..."
"hindi lang ako sanay ng malayo ka sakin, kaya ako takot."
"naku mike, if anything i should be the one to be worried, kasi ako im sure who i wanna be with eh ikaw?" i said trying to give him a reassuring grin.
"oo naman."
"o yun naman pala eh, so what's there to be scared off?" i asked.
"basta, you promise na hindi ka magbabago ah?"
"i told you i promise" i said holding up my right hand for him to see that i was sincere.

and then with that we both continued packing.

"o ano sasama ka pa ba kila lola?" i asked him as i was loading my stuff in the van.
"hindi na, just make sure na makablik ka in time for the mass ha?" he said. yeah, that's mike we have this certain hour wherein we have to go to church and attend mass.
"dont worry i'll be back in time, saglit lang naman din siguro kami dun eh, if anything text nalang kita."
"naku, trix, no excuses basta kahit na anong mangyari antyin nalang kita sa church ok?" he said.
"ok o sige pasok na ko dami ko pa ding kelangang i pack eh." i said giving him a peck on the cheek and i walked in the house to finish packing.
"ok, bye love you." as he waved goodbye.

"dad, eto na yung last na kahon, ala nang ibababa." i called after my dad. we just got to lola's house, of course trafiic was bad and lunchtime was nearly over. i was looking at my watch evry once in a while because i promised mike i'd be back in time for the mass.
"trixie, ano ka ba? kanina ka pa tingin ng tingin diyan sa relo mo?" my mom asked getting annoyed.
"eh kasi ma, sabi ko kay mike babalik ako agad kasi hindi pa kami nag sisimba."
"aba sabihin mo kay mike madami pa tayong gagawin dito. kelan pa palang pinturahan yung kwarto mo, lilinisan pa yun para matulugan..." she said.
uhoh! this is bad im pretty sure that he'd hate me after i tell him this.. paano ba to?
"ma, sigurado ka ba na hindi tayo makakauwi on time?" i asked her again.
"eh sino naman ang gusto mong mag ayos ng kwarto mo? lola mo hindi tayo makakuwi agad, baka dito na din tayo maghapunan. o sige na akyat mo na tong iba mong gamit sa taas." she asked trying to brush me off.

naku patay!!! lagot ako kay mike. well, im sure he'll be ok with it... well you know what this time i think i blew his lid off.

"ano???!!! di ba may usapan tayo??" he screamed at me over the phone.
"eh hindi nga matatapos agad yung mga kelangan dito eh." i said
"ano ba naman trix...ok na nga lang sa kin na lumipat ka diyan pati ba naman yung oras nating dalawa mababawasan pa?" grabe talaga yung gigil niya.
"mike, be reasonable naman." i said trying to lower down my voice kahit na galit na din ako.
"reasonable??? ako pa ngayon ang kelangang maging reasonable.. ikaw na nga ang mangiiwan ako pa ang reasonable?" he said. this time i lost it too...
"ano bang iiwan ang sinasabi mo? bakit ba la ka nang bukang bibig kungdi yang iwan iwan na yan? lilipat lang ako mike isa pa pamilya ko ang kasama ko, hindi ibang tao! bakit kelangan mo kong orasan when im with them?"
" o ngayon ako na yung mali? you shouldnt have promised kung alam mo palang hindi ka makakabalik on time!"
"grrr!!! alamo mo mike walang pupuntahan tong usapan na to! bahala ka!"
"kita mo na, this is what im scared off, hindi ka pa nakaka alis nag babago ka na."
"im tired of explaining myself, we'll talk when i get back!" with that i slammed the phone down.

"oh bakit? away nanaman kayo ni mike?" my mom asked.
"yeah! nakakainis ma, ang higpit niya and he cant understand any of this.. kung bakit kelangang akong lumipat."
"trix, you know from the very beginning hindi ako nakialam sa inyo ni mike, pero all im saying is prang masyado na yata ang argurments niyo tungkol dito, masyado pa kayong mga bata para maghigpit siya ng ganto. dont you think? dapat nga he should undertsand and be supportive of this, aba magandang opportunity 'to for you." for the first time my mom made sense. pero bakit ganto ang feeling parang tama sila pareho. Its scary to think about it, my mom was right about mike, and mike is right about the changes that's going to happen. nakakatakot yung feeling kasi at the back of mind i know mike's right... madaming magbabago kapag andito na ko...