Paano na?

I decided to come home to cavite for the weekend, after all i deserve it! plus, the play that i directed was done and over with so i guess i deserve a break. it was one of my much awaited drive home anyway.. as usual the commute was long and tiring but just thinking of home makes it worthwhile.

My folks were in the living room when i got home, it seems like they were in a serious conversation when i walked in. i felt like i was intruding...
"nak, upo ka may paguusapan tayo." my mom said pointing at the couch where i should sit.
"ummm, ok" i said giving them pecks on their cheeks before settling down on the couch.
"napagusapan kasi namin ng daddy mo na since malayo si kuya mo and magisa lang siya sa states...na lumipat na din tayo lahat dun, as soon as possible." she exhaled after saying all this. wait, am i hearing it right? aalis na kami papuntang amerika? not to visit but to actually live there? seems like a good idea, since ayoko na din naman ng atmosphere dito and pretty much everyone has gone their own way, siguro its time na din for me to get away from it all. Wala na din naman si mike he moved on, baka mas makakabuti to sa kin.. sa min...
" ano nak, ano sa palagay mo?" mom ask interrupting my thoughts.
"final na ba yan ma? as in decided na din kayo na lilipat na tayo? san tayo titira and anong work niyo dun?magsisimula tayo ulit?" i asked.
"oo decided na din kami ng mommy mo, hahanap tayo ng matitirahan dun, magsisimula tayo lahat ulit, your mom found a good job there na kasama ang family. so this is going to be a very good opportunity for all of us, plus makakasama na din natin ang kuya mo." my dad said.
"ok dad, states it is." i answered. "but what about school?i just started the semester, sayang naman."
"your mom and i will discuss that, as of now ang final lang is that were all moving ok?" my dad said.
"o sige na nak, magbihis at magpahinga ka na tas kakain na din tayo maya maya." she said.

I went to my room and my sister was sitting on her bed.
"ano, nasabi na sa yo ni mommy?" she asked.
"oo nasabi niya na kanina pag pasok ko."
"so what do you think?"
"ok lang sa kin tutal naman nakakatamad na din dito sa pinas eh, mas magandang change na din siguro dun chaka may kasama na din si kuya di ba?" i said
"sabagay, ok na din sa kin."
"teka bihis lang din ako kakain na din daw tayo, labas ako maya after dinner sabihin ko pala sa barkada na aalis tayo ASAP." i said.
"ay 'te paano si richard? nasabi mo na ba sa kanya?" she asked me.
"hindi pa, pero i know na walang reaksyon yun, may gf na yun eh..." i said. this kind of struck me, paano na nga kaya siya, will he get affected? i really have to get out of the house to go see my friends and tell them what just happend.

"so final na daw ba yan? sabi ng mommy mo?" asked bing in disbelief. we are now by her house hanging out with a bunch of our friends that still couldnt believe that i had to leave so soon, so fast.
"oo daw eh. parang ang bilis nga lang din ng decision nila mommy, pati sa school hindi pa din sure kung matatapos namin tong sem na to." i said.
"wow! napakabilis nga..." bing exclaimed.
"so trix, paano na pinsan ko? does he know that youre leaving?" errol, mike's cousin asked.
"hindi ko lam rol, would just let him know then? can you tell h im also that im so sorry for everything?" with this i got teary eyed all of a sudden. "tell him na binabawi ko lahat ng sinabi ko sa kanya, that i regret all those bad things that i did to him, im happy na din na he found someone to love, and can you give him this as well." i said unclasping the bracelet that i have on my arm, he gave this to me from a long time ago "sabi niya kasi hiram lang eh, so now that im leaving, i know that he would want it back."
"bakit hindi ikaw magbigay?" he asked.
"hindi na, just give it to him and tell him im so sorry for everything." with this i turned my back to him and started crying. it got worse than that i really cried and he just stood there watching me and felt bad for me. sobrang lalo akong nalungkot that im leaving some wonderful people behind.

When i got home that night, as soon as hit the bed, my bedside phone rang it was errol:
"trix, nabigay na yung bracelet mo, and told him na aalis ka na soon."
"anong sabi niya?"
"kinuha lang niya yung bracelet tas sabi lang niya good for you daw, tas yun na yun, umalis na din ako after." there was a long pause.
"ah ganun ba? wala na ding sinabing iba?.. sige rol, thanks ha, pahinga na din ako. it has been a long night." i said
"ay trix, nung sinabi ko kasi yun andun si sheena sa tabi niya, so hindi din kasi ako sure nun kung yun talaga reaksyon niya. pero sige pahinga ka na, bukas nalang ulit. night" and we both hung up after that.

It was almost 2 am when i decided to actually get some sleep, hindi ako makatulog eh, ang dami kong iniisip, parang ang daming laman ng utako, it has been an hour since i hung up with errol and i was just staring at my ceiling when i decided to quit and get some much needed sleep. when..

RRRiiinnnnnggggg..... mhan, too late for phone but i picked it up anyway, i dont want to wake my parents up.
"hello?" i said silently.
"hi" it said on the other line, it was that oh so familiar voice..*kilig*
"hi mike!" parang ang late na ata para tumawag ka ah, what's up?" i asked
"i heard from errol, aalis ka daw, is that true?"
hindi pa man ako nakakasagot i started crying but tried for him not to hear it. "oo eh, tutal naman i guess its about time, i have nothing left and plus sabi ni ma, mas maganda na daw na magsisimula kami ng maayos dun." i was still crying when i was saying this but i was trying to brave it out, if theres such a word.
"hindi ka na din papa pigil?"
"bakit pa? everything's all set."
"kelan ang alis niyo?"
"Soon. hindi ko pa din alam kung kelan eh, wala pang definite date. mike, i just wanna say that iam so sorry for everything, sa pagiging selfish ko, im so sorry for that, sa lahat ng mga sinabi kong masasakit, sa mga ginawa ko. no one deserves that. sorry talaga, and i hope na happy ka na din with her. she's very lucky to have you." and with this it did became obvious that i was crying.
"wala na yun trix, tapos na yun eh, sorry din for everything. is there anyway i can make you stay?"he asked sounding as if he was choking back tears as well.
"wala na mike eh, arrangements have been made, its just a matter of time nalang din." i said. "mike, you know i love you no matter what di ba?" i wish i could honestly say that im happy for you pero nakakalungkot ako, i wish it were me, yun lang." i said between tears.
"trix, you know i always have loved you, hindi na yun magbabago."he said...