"Ang init!!! ang traffic pa!" shouted maggie from the back of the van.
yes, yes unfortunately she came along because apparently her boyfriend went to hongkong to visit his family so yeah i was stuck with her. Along came more our friends for the trip.. there's a good friend of mine bhing and then mike's cousin erick and one friend Daren also came and of course there's maggie, me and my sister. We all took mike's van.
"Mike palakas naman ng AC!"
"Just open your windows mags, its too hot anyway tas traffic pa sayang sa gas" I hollred from the front seat."
"hindi ok lang, i'll just turn up the AC" said mike sheepishly.
Kakainis ang arte naman kasi eh! and ito namang si mike sunod naman ng sunod. Whew! i wonder how this trip would turn out. It's a good thing that i was able to make my mom agree on this trip, kung hindi lang sa tulong ni nanay (my lola) i dont think this is going to happen.
"Naku Cristina delikad ang mga beach beach na yan, cargo ko pa yang mga barkada mo."
"pero ma, kaya nga summer eh para naman may outing kami di ba? at least kila nanay."
"eh paano kung hindi pumayag ang lola mo?"
"papayag yun, weekend lang naman kami dun eh, besides halos dun kami mag stay sa may beach house ni tita alice, i already asked her too you know."
"Naku ikaw ang bahal ikaw ang kumausap sa lola mo."
"Basta ma, kapag pumayag tuloy kami ha?? please???
"o siya siya, basta si mike ang driver ha, lam mo naman na dun lang ako may tiwala sa pagmamaneho, at magsabi ka din sa daddy mo."
"thanks mom!"
Of course it wasnt a problem asking permission from my dad. if my mom says that its ok then it means its a go. so after that here we are stuck in traffic sa south super highway. I wonder why they have to call it south super highway anyway, when it always jammed anyway. i think the fastest that you could go here is 80 km/h or less. hooo!!! ang init pa.
"ikaw trix you ok?" asked mike, looking at me like it was his responsibility to ask.
"yeah im fine, mainit nga lang and i dont thing the AC's gonna work anyway, masisira lang yung van. Ey you all. patayin ko na yung AC ah, its not working anyway, just open you damn windows para walang reklamo ok?" and all i heard was all groans from the back of the van.
"basta i got shotgun pauwi so i could have the AC all to myself." muttered Maggie.
GRRR!!! pati ba naman pwesto ko sa upuan inagaw pa, kanya na nga yung guy, pati ba naman kasi AC!!! i shouldn't have invited her in the first place, pero naisip ko na din kasi na baka kapag nalaman niya na we've gone for the weekend magtampo pa, i mean i didnt even know that she'd actually go, knowing how clingy she is with her guy, i was just being nice but this time i think im being too nice!
So there we are stuck in traffic until everybody just got tired of waiting and went to sleep but me. siymepre samahan ko si mike noh... there was nothing to talk about, i was just staring outside when mike interrupted my sight seeing.
"psst.."he whispered, "you think she really is sleeping?"
i lokked at the back and just shrugged my shoulders "ewan.'
"cute niya matulog noh."
"ewan ok lang."
hay naku sobrang insensitive! i just turned the music up, just so we wont have anymore awkward converstation, good thing it was a eraserhead song "alapaap" i just started singing with it.
"gusto mo bang sumama? paparapapapapapapa!"
"lam mo trix leave the singing to e-heads nalang."
then i wacked him on his back, "yabang" ignored him and started singing again.
then he turned it down a bit "ano ba mike nakanta yung tao eh."
"kwentuhan nalang kasi tayo eh. para hindi naman ako antukin."
"ok sige like what (please god not maggie again)
"ummm ikaw naman pagkwentuhan natin, i mean may boyfriend ka na noh?" he said teasingly.
"Nyek! if i do have one kasama ko na yun ngayon noh, for a summer getaway!"
"o sige manliligaw? meron?"
"meron din naman, kaso lang hindi pa din ako sure kung seryoso eh."
"Meron nga??? kelan pa to.? is it serious? kilala ko ba?"
"yeah you do, you definitely do."
AYYYY! ganun then how come i dont hear about this guy?"
"eh kasi nga i dont want to spoil it mamya dal dal ako ng daldal about him hindi naman pala seryoso."
"so sino nga?' he asked sounding irritated.
"ok, pero wag ka maingay ah secret lang.. yung friend ni Daren si errol. yung ka team mate mo sa basketball."
"Si Errol? seryoso ka? eh babaero yun eh" then he gave me a wierd look that ive never seen before, was it jealousy? was he laughing at me? i dont know. all i know is he looked at me in a weird way.
"Hay naku for now i dont care yet kasi hindi naman important yun eh, i'll let you know for updates."
"Asus! wala yun hindi yun seryoso lokohin ka lang nun."
"Hey that's for me to find out."
Well, as for errol i dont know his deal but yeah he keeps on calling this past few days and sending me text messages on sweet nothings, asking me if i ate yet, stuff like that, but i havent actually given much thought about it, not until mike became weird talking about it. hmm seryos nga kaya si errol? well i dont know guess i really have to find out. and so for the whole entire trip mike became really quiet, wierd nga eh, it seems like he was in deep though prang space out lang na nag dadrive, so i chose not to bother him nalang and went back to singing.. wait not singing out loud but singing to myself at least!
After 3 more hours of driving we finally got there, my lola was there and she was oh so happy to see me! tagal na din naming hindi nagkita eh. it was about nightfall when we got there.
"Nay! ang haba ng biyahe ang traffic eh."
"naku, eh lagi namang ganun eh, halika papasukin mo mgakaibigan mo at nakahain na sa loob. halika kayo pasok kayo mamya niyo na ipasok yung mga gamit niyo, magpahinga muna kyo at kumain siguradong pagod na kayo."
So dinner was already set on the table and we ate heartily, ang sarap ng ulam eh, and kwentuhan kaming lahat about the trip and made plans on where we're going and what we wanted to do the next day, lahat excited. but you can tell that everybody was already tired especially mike.
"Si Daren ag lakas humilik!" he said to Daren. everybody just looked at Daren and started laughing at the same time.
"uy hindi ah, hindi ako yun, si bhing yun eh nakanga nga pa nga siya eh ganto oh (he even demonstrated how bing was sleeping).
"Naku, tong mga batang to oh, sige na bilisan niyo na kumain diyan ng mai akyat niyo na mga gamit niyo maaga kayong gumsing para makapunta kayo sa aplya bukas ng umaga, tixie tulungan mo na sila kung san sila matutulog ha, maglatag nlang kayo, bahala nakyo wag kayo mahihiya ah."
And with that, my nanay went upstairs to go sto sleep herself i could tell that she was trired from preparing for our arrival. so we all finished our meal and helped each other with our luggages of course mike being extra helpful to maggie, kakainis talaga! Why do i even have to see it in action you know? yung exacto pa talaga.. yung tipong nakatitig pa si mike kay maggs with this puupy dog look nakakainis.
"Huy Trix! baka matunaw si mike! kaw ha! Yiheee! mike si trix oh mukang kakainin ka ng buhay!" that was erik, and he caught me staring. oopsss
"ano ba erick! mind your own business nga sige na akyat na tulog na tayo."
so we all went and did our night rituals and of course the guys just passed out i mean seriously it was like in a count 10 or not even i think they were just goners! si mike hindi nagiisip pa din and as i was checkin on everyone i heard him say through the dark.
"night trix... thanks for staying with me for the whole entire drive, sweet dreams."
i could just die right there. i know im goingto have agood night's sleep, i cant wait what tommorrow has for everyone of us.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
my unforgetable summer part 1
so here iam staring at my pc still wondering what to write about... ARGGGHHH!!! summer's almost here and i can feel it! but all this homeworks, deadlines, projects and of course not to mention my finals.. it just ruins everything you know? but i cant wait.. i mean it's just been so hectic this semester, i didnt even had the chance to talk to any of my friend.. not even mike...
I wonder how he's doing right now? and what are his plans for the summer? "OMG! Cristina! space out nanaman!" Shoot, that's one of the reason why i stayed pre occupied for the whoke entire semsester was to stay away from him, well at least i have a valid reason on why i was avoiding his phonecalls, usually i would say "sorry mike ha, may deadline kasi ako na tinatapos eh." or some lam excuse on how busy iam. I just got tired of him and the never ending drama of him and Maggie. Ok, now i really have to focus on my paper.
Following morning i was just exhausted! good thing i was able to finish my research paper. Whew! i just have one final left and i can have my freedom! and so to cut the long drama short i finished my finals in a flash and decided to just take the bus home and start my summer early, i dont know maybe a run in the park would do me good, smell of fresh air or something.
So here iam on the bus and as usual my thoughts came back to mike and maggie. well, the last i heard maggie was getting serious with her new guy and is very happy. mike on the other hand although we had a few pleasantries, i really dont know what was going on with him, maybe he got tired of calling me, or i dont know maybe he's just busy with school, i mean i know how school can get nasty with homework right? baka naman may bagong girlfirend? heck! wag naman sana! my thoughts were interrupted when the bus that i was on stopped in a halt.
"manong? ano nanagyri?"
"naku trapik mam."
"Grrr!!! ang aga naman ng traffic!" well i guess im not the only one who has the idea of starting the summer early.
"Sige manong lakarin ko nalang lapit na naman yung kabilang sakayan eh, sa tabi lang."
So i started walking, and when i got to the next station, there already was a line.. "Shit!" everything is just not good. ano ba naman 'to and i really thought i was to a good start. so there i was cursing to myself when there was a tap on my shoulder.
"Hi miss, pwede makipagkilala?"
"Alam mo kung wala kang magawa.... Oh shoot! Hi mike!!! i thought it was someone else" and i was about to cuss him out, good thing i turned.
"Ang sungit mo naman pala sa personal." he said smiling.
i just smacked him on the back and told him " naku, its a good thing i turned i could've smacked you you know?"
"eh bakit ba kasi kunot yang ulo mo eh, first day ng summer vacation?"
i dont know, everything is just... basta ang panget lang ng simula, kasi ang traffic, ang init tas may pila pa!"
"Oh my! trix, sige ganto nalang why dont we have merienda before we head home, so you could start over with a good summer pwede ba yun?"
"Umm... sige na nga!"
Ok, ok to all the heaven's above. i thank thee!!! i couldnt ask for anything more than this.. ito ang tinatawag na "Heck of a starter for the summer!" so we chose mickey d's for our first romantic date (Ha! i wish!) i just ordered my favorite which is a caramel sunday (Yum!) and him being a guy ordered.. heck i dont know dami eh, there's a big mac and spaghetti and all sorts... so there i was lingering with my spoon when he asked
"so what are your plans for the summer?"
"umm, i dont know yet, running, beach siguro somthing fun... ewan ko pa...
then it clicked on me
"hey outing kaya tayo lahat sa beach? what do you say?
"hmmm ok yun ah, pero san?
"well, my lola has a houise in batangas, i guess we could all stay there and i dont think that we're all going to have any problems looking for a beach. ano?"
this is when he got kinda excited...
"I dont think that's a bad idea at all, sige ill make a few phone calls who wants to go and then you go ahead and call you lola that we're coming."
After then, we started planning everything and of course both of us got really excited i mean imagine how excited i am! finally beach with mike! wow! thank you God for summer! so yeah we were planning on what stuff to bring, who's coming and of course when the big date is, so after all the hype talk about the beach thing, medyo nag relax na kami ng konti and i guess we just started talking about normal stuff.
"So, how was this semester for you ok?"
I just exhaled took a spoonfull of my sundae and said "ok lang though it was really tiring and busy, but i had fun naman, and you how was it?"
"busy din as usual, Aha! teka is it really school?, kunyari ka pang busy ng school, siguro busy ka sa guys noh?"
"Sira! guys ka diyan! i was just so pre occupied then, i mean you know how it is. and i thought our conversatiuon was just getting personal when he popped the most annoying question;
"eh si mags kamusta?"
this is unbelievable! mags nanaman??? after all this time?grrrr.. batukan ko na kaya tong taong to?
"ah.. si mags? last i heard she's happy with this guy that she's with... he's a bit older than she is though."
"Ganun? so sa tingin mo kaya trix talaga kayang masaya na siya?"
then that's what really ruined the afternoon, i mean that's it! i just had enough with the maggie drama you know?! ang manhid kasi eh...
"Ummm mike, i think we better be going late na din eh. baka mas mahaba na yung pila mahirapan lang tayo umuwi." I said this i just started gathering all my stuff, i didnt even finish muy sundae, i lost my appetite.
"Oh, ayaw mo na? sayang naman yung sundae mo. chaka bakit ka naka kunot?"
"Im just tired ok? basta tara na!"
"oo nga kelangan pa natin asikasuhin yung outing. dont worry i'll call everyone up ok? tara?"
"oo nga sabi ko di ba?!
"sungit talaga nito." and then he just did one of those killer smiles of his. Damn! why does he have to do that anyway! and as usual he still is clueless about my mood change.
so for the whole entire trip home i pretended that i was asleep, what he doesn't know was that how awake i was. i was just thinking you know? i thought he had forgetten about her, but guess not, i guess that was all wishful thinking. But all those excitement for nothing. i thought that we had a chance oh wait.. i thought "I" had a chance... ok ok i have to relax, siguro for me it would be enough to have him there, i guess it would be enough to be with him even if he aches for someone else... is it? now my only problem for now is to just ask my mom and my lola about trip, hindi pa nila alam na may plans kami eh.. i hope my mom would say yes... and if she does i wonder how our trip would turn out???
I wonder how he's doing right now? and what are his plans for the summer? "OMG! Cristina! space out nanaman!" Shoot, that's one of the reason why i stayed pre occupied for the whoke entire semsester was to stay away from him, well at least i have a valid reason on why i was avoiding his phonecalls, usually i would say "sorry mike ha, may deadline kasi ako na tinatapos eh." or some lam excuse on how busy iam. I just got tired of him and the never ending drama of him and Maggie. Ok, now i really have to focus on my paper.
Following morning i was just exhausted! good thing i was able to finish my research paper. Whew! i just have one final left and i can have my freedom! and so to cut the long drama short i finished my finals in a flash and decided to just take the bus home and start my summer early, i dont know maybe a run in the park would do me good, smell of fresh air or something.
So here iam on the bus and as usual my thoughts came back to mike and maggie. well, the last i heard maggie was getting serious with her new guy and is very happy. mike on the other hand although we had a few pleasantries, i really dont know what was going on with him, maybe he got tired of calling me, or i dont know maybe he's just busy with school, i mean i know how school can get nasty with homework right? baka naman may bagong girlfirend? heck! wag naman sana! my thoughts were interrupted when the bus that i was on stopped in a halt.
"manong? ano nanagyri?"
"naku trapik mam."
"Grrr!!! ang aga naman ng traffic!" well i guess im not the only one who has the idea of starting the summer early.
"Sige manong lakarin ko nalang lapit na naman yung kabilang sakayan eh, sa tabi lang."
So i started walking, and when i got to the next station, there already was a line.. "Shit!" everything is just not good. ano ba naman 'to and i really thought i was to a good start. so there i was cursing to myself when there was a tap on my shoulder.
"Hi miss, pwede makipagkilala?"
"Alam mo kung wala kang magawa.... Oh shoot! Hi mike!!! i thought it was someone else" and i was about to cuss him out, good thing i turned.
"Ang sungit mo naman pala sa personal." he said smiling.
i just smacked him on the back and told him " naku, its a good thing i turned i could've smacked you you know?"
"eh bakit ba kasi kunot yang ulo mo eh, first day ng summer vacation?"
i dont know, everything is just... basta ang panget lang ng simula, kasi ang traffic, ang init tas may pila pa!"
"Oh my! trix, sige ganto nalang why dont we have merienda before we head home, so you could start over with a good summer pwede ba yun?"
"Umm... sige na nga!"
Ok, ok to all the heaven's above. i thank thee!!! i couldnt ask for anything more than this.. ito ang tinatawag na "Heck of a starter for the summer!" so we chose mickey d's for our first romantic date (Ha! i wish!) i just ordered my favorite which is a caramel sunday (Yum!) and him being a guy ordered.. heck i dont know dami eh, there's a big mac and spaghetti and all sorts... so there i was lingering with my spoon when he asked
"so what are your plans for the summer?"
"umm, i dont know yet, running, beach siguro somthing fun... ewan ko pa...
then it clicked on me
"hey outing kaya tayo lahat sa beach? what do you say?
"hmmm ok yun ah, pero san?
"well, my lola has a houise in batangas, i guess we could all stay there and i dont think that we're all going to have any problems looking for a beach. ano?"
this is when he got kinda excited...
"I dont think that's a bad idea at all, sige ill make a few phone calls who wants to go and then you go ahead and call you lola that we're coming."
After then, we started planning everything and of course both of us got really excited i mean imagine how excited i am! finally beach with mike! wow! thank you God for summer! so yeah we were planning on what stuff to bring, who's coming and of course when the big date is, so after all the hype talk about the beach thing, medyo nag relax na kami ng konti and i guess we just started talking about normal stuff.
"So, how was this semester for you ok?"
I just exhaled took a spoonfull of my sundae and said "ok lang though it was really tiring and busy, but i had fun naman, and you how was it?"
"busy din as usual, Aha! teka is it really school?, kunyari ka pang busy ng school, siguro busy ka sa guys noh?"
"Sira! guys ka diyan! i was just so pre occupied then, i mean you know how it is. and i thought our conversatiuon was just getting personal when he popped the most annoying question;
"eh si mags kamusta?"
this is unbelievable! mags nanaman??? after all this time?grrrr.. batukan ko na kaya tong taong to?
"ah.. si mags? last i heard she's happy with this guy that she's with... he's a bit older than she is though."
"Ganun? so sa tingin mo kaya trix talaga kayang masaya na siya?"
then that's what really ruined the afternoon, i mean that's it! i just had enough with the maggie drama you know?! ang manhid kasi eh...
"Ummm mike, i think we better be going late na din eh. baka mas mahaba na yung pila mahirapan lang tayo umuwi." I said this i just started gathering all my stuff, i didnt even finish muy sundae, i lost my appetite.
"Oh, ayaw mo na? sayang naman yung sundae mo. chaka bakit ka naka kunot?"
"Im just tired ok? basta tara na!"
"oo nga kelangan pa natin asikasuhin yung outing. dont worry i'll call everyone up ok? tara?"
"oo nga sabi ko di ba?!
"sungit talaga nito." and then he just did one of those killer smiles of his. Damn! why does he have to do that anyway! and as usual he still is clueless about my mood change.
so for the whole entire trip home i pretended that i was asleep, what he doesn't know was that how awake i was. i was just thinking you know? i thought he had forgetten about her, but guess not, i guess that was all wishful thinking. But all those excitement for nothing. i thought that we had a chance oh wait.. i thought "I" had a chance... ok ok i have to relax, siguro for me it would be enough to have him there, i guess it would be enough to be with him even if he aches for someone else... is it? now my only problem for now is to just ask my mom and my lola about trip, hindi pa nila alam na may plans kami eh.. i hope my mom would say yes... and if she does i wonder how our trip would turn out???
Sunday, May 28, 2006
reality bites
it always is good going back to those wonderful times nung una kong nakilala si mike. It was like a fairytale come true, and of course everyday is always a pleasure of recounting all the wonderful events that happened, every single one was always a memorable one for me. kahit mga kababawan namin nung maliliit pa kami, even as i recount it now that i'm 25 still does give me the "kiligs", may it be good or bad, it still feels like ithappned yesterday...
My jaw was left hanging open as i was reading my text message, even I myself cannot believe what i just have read. it said: "trix can you call me, it's really important! mags, just brokeup with me." I honestly felt nothing, shouldn't i be happy now that they're finally done? eh bakit parang ang bigat ng feeling ko... i felt so bad for mike, i mean i just knew how much she loved maggie.
"Hello? Mike." i know it's a stupid question but you ok?"
"why trix? binigay ko naman lahat di ba? i waited for her, i did everything for her and yet it still wasn't enough."
"i dont know mike, i guess we just have to let this one go, we both know that you loved her but i guess it just wasnt enough for both of you."
"2 years trix, all this for two years!"
"Its alright Mike, madami naman diyan you just have to look around, mamya nasa harap mo na hindi mo pa alam."
"i dont know what to do trix... ang labo ni mags, she says she needed space and i gave her that and then just like that she said she realized that she wants it more to be by herself."
"It's ok mike, it's all going to be ok."
And yes, of course we were both on the phone for until the wee hours in the morning, him ranting about how he wasted his two years of loving someone that didnt love him back. God! like i dont know that feeling! Hello!? Mike hint, hint... didnt i just said that the right person might just be infront of you and you dont even know it? But i have to let him hear my "inspirational" words, he just doesn't know how much i was being hurt on hearing him talk about some girl...(well, of course it wasnt just come girl, she's my good friend! which hurt more! Parang i felt like something hit me in the face and before you even knew what was going on, you never did found out what hit you.. labo di ba? pero that was how i felt. Pero siyempre i have to pretend that im being strong for him, trying to convince him that everything is going to be ok and you know, we might never know that mags might change her mind. I was acting like a good 'ol friend should act, kahit na dinudurog na ko!
Basta i justhave to tell him all the good stuff to make him feel better, lahat ng makapagpapagaan ng loob niya sinabi ko na yata.
The next day i was facing a different drama, drama naman ni mags:
"Trix, you can never believe how dramatic he can be! Imagine crying infront of me, i mean i know that he loves me and i loved him, but i just... oh! i dont know i'm just not happy anymore.. lam mo yun?"
"well, you cant blame him, he loves you so much you know... of course being a man he'll fight for what he belives in and being that he'll fight for both of you... yun nga lang he's fighting alone."
"hey, dont be taking his side, im your friend right?it's just too much for me, nakaka suffocate, i need space!"
"I know mags, i understand, nakakaawa lang naman yung tao."
"naku! if you could only see him, you'd be scared, kasi he was really being histerical, but i stood my ground and i said that i we cant be together anymore and that's final."
And then she kept on goin on and on about how they broke up and how pathetic mike was and everything and i was just there staring into space and trying to think, i mean how can you not love a man who almost gave you his all? how can you just wake up one morning after two years of being together and just feel like it's all over for both of you? sigh!
"Trix! trix naman! nakikinig ka ba?" c'mon now, im pouring my heart out, tas all you do is space out."
"Sorry Mags, ha... kulang lang ako sa tulog eh and besides i'm not feeling good can we just talk about something else..." (nawalan na ko ng gana!)
"Ok, ok, so much for drama, something different naman.. you know what i met this one guy sa mall...blah blah blah"
she what????!!! after saying that she met someone else, i think i lost her after that... how dare her!!! i mean how insensitive could she get... i mean si mike, he's still trying to recuperate and here she is announcing to the whole entire universe that she already is available!!! ARRRRGGGHHH! i just dont understand....
"Ah talaga? ummm.. mags, can we just hang out some other time talagang hindi na din kasi maganda yung pakiramdam ko eh."
Then i just stood up, left her speechless, and i dont even care what the heck she was thinking, i just stood up and went to my room, locked the door, i lay in my bed and then stared at the ceiling, and again started wondering...why cant he love me the way that she loves her? is it because im just always one of the boys, do i always give that vibe towards the male species? am i just another ear for them to pour their heart out?... nakakapagod na, but then again why do i always end up being there for him even if he's not there for me?
This is when tears started welling up... it's stupid but i started feeling sorry for myself and started asking myself, am i ugly? hindi nga ako siguro yung girlfirend type, i mean why do guys want their hearts to be broken anyway? bakit hindi nalang sila dun sa taong mamahalin sila? This is why i always space out, too many questions and they 're always left unanswered. and i thought falling inlove was easy! pfft! well, that is if the person that you've fallen in love with can see where you're looking from...
My jaw was left hanging open as i was reading my text message, even I myself cannot believe what i just have read. it said: "trix can you call me, it's really important! mags, just brokeup with me." I honestly felt nothing, shouldn't i be happy now that they're finally done? eh bakit parang ang bigat ng feeling ko... i felt so bad for mike, i mean i just knew how much she loved maggie.
"Hello? Mike." i know it's a stupid question but you ok?"
"why trix? binigay ko naman lahat di ba? i waited for her, i did everything for her and yet it still wasn't enough."
"i dont know mike, i guess we just have to let this one go, we both know that you loved her but i guess it just wasnt enough for both of you."
"2 years trix, all this for two years!"
"Its alright Mike, madami naman diyan you just have to look around, mamya nasa harap mo na hindi mo pa alam."
"i dont know what to do trix... ang labo ni mags, she says she needed space and i gave her that and then just like that she said she realized that she wants it more to be by herself."
"It's ok mike, it's all going to be ok."
And yes, of course we were both on the phone for until the wee hours in the morning, him ranting about how he wasted his two years of loving someone that didnt love him back. God! like i dont know that feeling! Hello!? Mike hint, hint... didnt i just said that the right person might just be infront of you and you dont even know it? But i have to let him hear my "inspirational" words, he just doesn't know how much i was being hurt on hearing him talk about some girl...(well, of course it wasnt just come girl, she's my good friend! which hurt more! Parang i felt like something hit me in the face and before you even knew what was going on, you never did found out what hit you.. labo di ba? pero that was how i felt. Pero siyempre i have to pretend that im being strong for him, trying to convince him that everything is going to be ok and you know, we might never know that mags might change her mind. I was acting like a good 'ol friend should act, kahit na dinudurog na ko!
Basta i justhave to tell him all the good stuff to make him feel better, lahat ng makapagpapagaan ng loob niya sinabi ko na yata.
The next day i was facing a different drama, drama naman ni mags:
"Trix, you can never believe how dramatic he can be! Imagine crying infront of me, i mean i know that he loves me and i loved him, but i just... oh! i dont know i'm just not happy anymore.. lam mo yun?"
"well, you cant blame him, he loves you so much you know... of course being a man he'll fight for what he belives in and being that he'll fight for both of you... yun nga lang he's fighting alone."
"hey, dont be taking his side, im your friend right?it's just too much for me, nakaka suffocate, i need space!"
"I know mags, i understand, nakakaawa lang naman yung tao."
"naku! if you could only see him, you'd be scared, kasi he was really being histerical, but i stood my ground and i said that i we cant be together anymore and that's final."
And then she kept on goin on and on about how they broke up and how pathetic mike was and everything and i was just there staring into space and trying to think, i mean how can you not love a man who almost gave you his all? how can you just wake up one morning after two years of being together and just feel like it's all over for both of you? sigh!
"Trix! trix naman! nakikinig ka ba?" c'mon now, im pouring my heart out, tas all you do is space out."
"Sorry Mags, ha... kulang lang ako sa tulog eh and besides i'm not feeling good can we just talk about something else..." (nawalan na ko ng gana!)
"Ok, ok, so much for drama, something different naman.. you know what i met this one guy sa mall...blah blah blah"
she what????!!! after saying that she met someone else, i think i lost her after that... how dare her!!! i mean how insensitive could she get... i mean si mike, he's still trying to recuperate and here she is announcing to the whole entire universe that she already is available!!! ARRRRGGGHHH! i just dont understand....
"Ah talaga? ummm.. mags, can we just hang out some other time talagang hindi na din kasi maganda yung pakiramdam ko eh."
Then i just stood up, left her speechless, and i dont even care what the heck she was thinking, i just stood up and went to my room, locked the door, i lay in my bed and then stared at the ceiling, and again started wondering...why cant he love me the way that she loves her? is it because im just always one of the boys, do i always give that vibe towards the male species? am i just another ear for them to pour their heart out?... nakakapagod na, but then again why do i always end up being there for him even if he's not there for me?
This is when tears started welling up... it's stupid but i started feeling sorry for myself and started asking myself, am i ugly? hindi nga ako siguro yung girlfirend type, i mean why do guys want their hearts to be broken anyway? bakit hindi nalang sila dun sa taong mamahalin sila? This is why i always space out, too many questions and they 're always left unanswered. and i thought falling inlove was easy! pfft! well, that is if the person that you've fallen in love with can see where you're looking from...
Friday, May 26, 2006
wake up call
brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinnnngggggggg!!! that was my wake up call, damn! i really hate getting up early. well a bunch of us are going jogging today.. well a bunch of my gal pals and some mike's freinds' as well, we have been hanging out a lot lately too i noticed...
It's just annoying that most of the time he talks nothing but about maggie. It's always "maggie this and maggie that" i mean dont get me wrong i love mags, she's one of my best friends, but i'm starting to get annoyed that everytime it was just all about her.... haaayyyy! i wonder when will be the time that it's going to be my turn?
Anyway, i dont want to ruin the morning with this well, we're going out to have a run with my sister and another girlfriend. we have this stupid contest, its so funny, it goes like this
"ok, so whoever wears the same color of shirt that mike has on, it means that that's his soul mate!"
some stupid game dont you think? but it was actually fun you know doing it with my sister and our friend. thinking that if he wears the same shirt then i guess we both think alike. something like that.
So here i am trying so hard to get out of bed, and let me tell you, it was not easy and i was trying to wake my sister up and it was bad for her too.
"Ate, arent we suppose to sleep in more? eh bakit tayo nagising ng maaga?"
"just get up and it'll be fun."
so there we were the three of us walking towards the park and low and behold mike and the rest of his crew were already there. grabe! our game, the soulmate game.. guess who won??? I DID! we were both wearing the same shade of shirt! hahahaha! mhen! was that a wake up call or what... i was just staring at two of my companions with my tongue out.i know, i know.. its "mababaw" right, but can you blame me? i mean we sometimes do that right? heck i dont know!
so yeah they were already there at the park playing balland when we got there, and he saw us they just asked us if we're ready to go and so we did. We started down the park trail for the walk and knowing Mike he walked right next to me.
"so, asan si mags?"
damn! Mike ang aga naman agad ng mags mo!!! grrr!
" Oh You know mags, she's not the morning person ( like iam?)
"ha! Guess not! sayang it would've been better if she's here di ba?"
"Yeah, definitely."
So after the trail walk we decided to stop by the small pond to kick it and since the sun was getting hotter we all decided to call it off. Well, i was just sitting by the pond and the rest of them were just messing with each other and trying to have fun with the wonderful weather and of course with breeze and the water everything was just almost perfect. then i looked at him again, seems like his in deep thought... sino kaya iniisip nito? sino pa kaya! then i went back to daydreaming again.. when will he notice me? or the right question wold be is "will he ever notice me?"
"Huy trix!, what the heck mukang lalim ng iniisip natin ah... tsk tsk..."
"He! what do you care anyway?"
he suddenly interruped my thoughts i didnt even realize i was far off.
"Let's head home the rest of them are getting hungry."
"Ok, i know it's getting late anyway and i know my sister should be getting hungry any minute now."
"wow, you know how to cook?"
"ever since i was in my elementary."
"swerte naman ng magiging boyfriend mo."
"umm, i guess so, the one that i really want dont even know i exist..."
"whoa! so you have a special someone!" So who's the lucky guy?"
"Naku, he's none of you business... Ysa! ( calling my sister) we should go!
" C'mon trix, but ok then i'll let this one slide...but i'll find out sooner or later!'
"Che!, ysa c'mon let' go home. i'll see you all later you guys!"
and as my sister and i were walking home i was thinking.. damn! that was almost a slip, i almost told him i like him! shoot! but sometimes im getting so impatient and so frustrated! why is he inlove with someone who he cant have anyway when he can have me?
It's just annoying that most of the time he talks nothing but about maggie. It's always "maggie this and maggie that" i mean dont get me wrong i love mags, she's one of my best friends, but i'm starting to get annoyed that everytime it was just all about her.... haaayyyy! i wonder when will be the time that it's going to be my turn?
Anyway, i dont want to ruin the morning with this well, we're going out to have a run with my sister and another girlfriend. we have this stupid contest, its so funny, it goes like this
"ok, so whoever wears the same color of shirt that mike has on, it means that that's his soul mate!"
some stupid game dont you think? but it was actually fun you know doing it with my sister and our friend. thinking that if he wears the same shirt then i guess we both think alike. something like that.
So here i am trying so hard to get out of bed, and let me tell you, it was not easy and i was trying to wake my sister up and it was bad for her too.
"Ate, arent we suppose to sleep in more? eh bakit tayo nagising ng maaga?"
"just get up and it'll be fun."
so there we were the three of us walking towards the park and low and behold mike and the rest of his crew were already there. grabe! our game, the soulmate game.. guess who won??? I DID! we were both wearing the same shade of shirt! hahahaha! mhen! was that a wake up call or what... i was just staring at two of my companions with my tongue out.i know, i know.. its "mababaw" right, but can you blame me? i mean we sometimes do that right? heck i dont know!
so yeah they were already there at the park playing balland when we got there, and he saw us they just asked us if we're ready to go and so we did. We started down the park trail for the walk and knowing Mike he walked right next to me.
"so, asan si mags?"
damn! Mike ang aga naman agad ng mags mo!!! grrr!
" Oh You know mags, she's not the morning person ( like iam?)
"ha! Guess not! sayang it would've been better if she's here di ba?"
"Yeah, definitely."
So after the trail walk we decided to stop by the small pond to kick it and since the sun was getting hotter we all decided to call it off. Well, i was just sitting by the pond and the rest of them were just messing with each other and trying to have fun with the wonderful weather and of course with breeze and the water everything was just almost perfect. then i looked at him again, seems like his in deep thought... sino kaya iniisip nito? sino pa kaya! then i went back to daydreaming again.. when will he notice me? or the right question wold be is "will he ever notice me?"
"Huy trix!, what the heck mukang lalim ng iniisip natin ah... tsk tsk..."
"He! what do you care anyway?"
he suddenly interruped my thoughts i didnt even realize i was far off.
"Let's head home the rest of them are getting hungry."
"Ok, i know it's getting late anyway and i know my sister should be getting hungry any minute now."
"wow, you know how to cook?"
"ever since i was in my elementary."
"swerte naman ng magiging boyfriend mo."
"umm, i guess so, the one that i really want dont even know i exist..."
"whoa! so you have a special someone!" So who's the lucky guy?"
"Naku, he's none of you business... Ysa! ( calling my sister) we should go!
" C'mon trix, but ok then i'll let this one slide...but i'll find out sooner or later!'
"Che!, ysa c'mon let' go home. i'll see you all later you guys!"
and as my sister and i were walking home i was thinking.. damn! that was almost a slip, i almost told him i like him! shoot! but sometimes im getting so impatient and so frustrated! why is he inlove with someone who he cant have anyway when he can have me?
a memorable stroll
Everybody wants to have their own happy ending di ba? and you know ever since i was a little girl I've always dreamt about wearing a beautiful long white dress married to the man of my dreams, live a simple life with kids and a house. I mean, is that hard or what?
well, my story began one day when I decided to have a stroll with a good friend of mine in our quiet subdivision in Cavite. you know every late afternoon it was nice to have a decent stroll. My freind Maggie (not her real name) started sharing a stroy about this one guy that asked her out. she said
"He's really nice you know, and he's willing to wait for me to be single again."
well, you know my friend maggie is the type of girl that is never single. lagi siyang may boyfriend. and I, on the other hand was the one who's always singled out. :(
"So, did you tell him that you're seeing someone?"
"yeah i did but he didnt mind though, he's actually taking me to meet his mom tommorrow."
"whoa! teka... that fast??? whos' this guy ba and where's he from?"
"ano ka ba???!!! he's from around here sa kabilang subdivision lang and he's been here all his life was just surprised that we havent seen him you know, since we always do this afternoon stroll."
"are you in the leat bit interested in this guy, mags?"
"umm, i already told him that iam on a serious relationship right now, kaya lang mapilit eh, he'll wait daw."
and so we started talking about the guy, how they met and all those details. He's name's michael, and quite frankly i was really surprised that he's been living almost next door and i never even knew he existed! and from what I've heard he's pretty cute. That was what maggie told me. He came from a pretty well off family. His mom's a chemist and they run their own lab and they have a huge house too. Aha!!! so that's where he lives at! that big white house right next to the Chapel, I didnt even know that someone actually lives there.
"Huy, ano ka ba? nag space out ka nanaman!" maggie nudged at me.
"Oh sorry, I was just surprised that you know he practically lives next door and i dont even know, kinda wierd you know?"
"Don't worry you'll meet in.. 10 minutes!"
"Ha??? did you asked them to join us??!! Mags naman!"
And as i said this two guys, were walking towards us. One guy was about 5'11 in height with fair skin and wait... wearing a yellow shirt??? what the heck was he thinking??? and the other one was a little bit taller and looks much younger and has darker complexion.i was again deep in thought when maggie interrupted me.
"trix, i want you to meet michael and his cousin gabby."
For the first time i was literally speechless, the guy standing infront of me was hella cute, although he was wearing a yellow nike shirt... (he can actually get away with any kind of shirt) i dont even know why i was stammering so bad.
"huy trix! si mike and si gabby sabi ko.""oh.. ah.. hello!"
Hello? what was that?... but i cant think of anything smarter to say but hello. Mike was just cute you know, in his own kinda way... he has this amazing brown eyes that turns hazel when sunlight strikes on it. he has a "killer" smile and im a sucker for guys with adorable smiles.. i dont know! everything about him is just what i want my someone to be...
Guess i could call that night a walk to remember in a cheesy kinda way... i just knew then that i fell for him i just dont know if he did too.
well, my story began one day when I decided to have a stroll with a good friend of mine in our quiet subdivision in Cavite. you know every late afternoon it was nice to have a decent stroll. My freind Maggie (not her real name) started sharing a stroy about this one guy that asked her out. she said
"He's really nice you know, and he's willing to wait for me to be single again."
well, you know my friend maggie is the type of girl that is never single. lagi siyang may boyfriend. and I, on the other hand was the one who's always singled out. :(
"So, did you tell him that you're seeing someone?"
"yeah i did but he didnt mind though, he's actually taking me to meet his mom tommorrow."
"whoa! teka... that fast??? whos' this guy ba and where's he from?"
"ano ka ba???!!! he's from around here sa kabilang subdivision lang and he's been here all his life was just surprised that we havent seen him you know, since we always do this afternoon stroll."
"are you in the leat bit interested in this guy, mags?"
"umm, i already told him that iam on a serious relationship right now, kaya lang mapilit eh, he'll wait daw."
and so we started talking about the guy, how they met and all those details. He's name's michael, and quite frankly i was really surprised that he's been living almost next door and i never even knew he existed! and from what I've heard he's pretty cute. That was what maggie told me. He came from a pretty well off family. His mom's a chemist and they run their own lab and they have a huge house too. Aha!!! so that's where he lives at! that big white house right next to the Chapel, I didnt even know that someone actually lives there.
"Huy, ano ka ba? nag space out ka nanaman!" maggie nudged at me.
"Oh sorry, I was just surprised that you know he practically lives next door and i dont even know, kinda wierd you know?"
"Don't worry you'll meet in.. 10 minutes!"
"Ha??? did you asked them to join us??!! Mags naman!"
And as i said this two guys, were walking towards us. One guy was about 5'11 in height with fair skin and wait... wearing a yellow shirt??? what the heck was he thinking??? and the other one was a little bit taller and looks much younger and has darker complexion.i was again deep in thought when maggie interrupted me.
"trix, i want you to meet michael and his cousin gabby."
For the first time i was literally speechless, the guy standing infront of me was hella cute, although he was wearing a yellow nike shirt... (he can actually get away with any kind of shirt) i dont even know why i was stammering so bad.
"huy trix! si mike and si gabby sabi ko.""oh.. ah.. hello!"
Hello? what was that?... but i cant think of anything smarter to say but hello. Mike was just cute you know, in his own kinda way... he has this amazing brown eyes that turns hazel when sunlight strikes on it. he has a "killer" smile and im a sucker for guys with adorable smiles.. i dont know! everything about him is just what i want my someone to be...
Guess i could call that night a walk to remember in a cheesy kinda way... i just knew then that i fell for him i just dont know if he did too.
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